INTERVIEW WITH A RUSSIAN DESERTER ⟩ "Putin Should Face Trial, but He'll Be Killed Before That"

You said you were earning well—why go to war at all?

Actually, the situation was rather interesting. I saw a post on Avito (Russia’s version of Craigslist) advertising training for truck drivers with a monthly salary of 180,000 rubles (around €2,000 – Ed.). The ad was posted by the Ministry of Defense... I thought, why not get a free license and make some money while studying. But in the end, naive people like me were sent straight to the front lines. I signed papers agreeing to a year of training. That was in early May 2024 at the recruitment office.

What did you know at that point about the war in Ukraine? Where did you get your information?

From TV. From the radio, which was always on at work. Sometimes I saw things online. I had a mixed picture in my head. Some said one thing, others something else. I didn’t really have any serious doubts. Not that I believed the war was “just,” but I didn’t grasp the real danger or what this war truly involved.

So you weren’t troubled by the morality of the war—who invaded whom, why, how your country was fighting?

On the contrary, I was interested. I just couldn’t tell what was true and what wasn’t.

And the fact that you had to sign documents with the Ministry of Defense to get a driver’s license didn’t raise red flags?

I believed what was written… They promised good pay.

Did you receive that salary?

Yes. But I never got the license or the training…

What happened after you signed the documents? When did you realize you weren’t getting a truck, but a rifle?

About a week after I signed the papers, the recruitment office called me: “Come in. We’ll give you a bank card.” A bus picked us up and took us to a military base.

And that didn’t seem suspicious to you?

I thought it made sense—the ad was from the Ministry of Defense.

So you thought it was a trustworthy institution?

Something like that, yes… Then a commander from the infantry appeared and said I would be serving under him. I told him I came here to train as a driver. He said no such program exists. That’s when fear kicked in. I had a feeling things were going badly…

How did you end up at the front?

When I found out I was being sent to the infantry, I started panicking, citing health issues. They locked me in a barracks for those refusing deployment. The windows had bars—even the bathrooms.

Were there many people like you?

The barracks were full. Many had already been to the war two or three times. Some had changed their minds, but were sent back anyway—even those who were sick. Some had already given up… eventually, we were all flown to the front on a military plane.

Didn’t you try to escape?

I did. When we were taken to the mess hall, I went out for a “smoke break.” The fence wasn’t far and there were no guards. A week later they called my home and told me to return.

Or else what?

“Or face legal consequences.”

But you said you’d rather go to prison.

Back then, I didn’t know how it would all end. We hadn’t been to Ukraine yet. But I had a rough idea of what “infantry” meant… When I escaped, they called my relatives and put psychological pressure on them.

Who called? Soldiers or security officers?

Soldiers. In the end, I went back. They took me to the forest for training, which was completely useless. I was there a few days before getting pneumonia and ending up in the hospital. The doctor recommended a six-week recovery, but the soldiers said I’d “heal in Ukraine.” The military medical board never examined me. They take everyone—even limping or cross-eyed. If you complain, they say: “Why’d you come here then?” I was taken straight from the hospital to a plane. Then we arrived in Ukraine.

Where?

Donetsk. In August 2024.

What do you remember after getting off the plane?

We were dropped off in Rostov-on-Don. The most vivid memory—tons of “Cargo 200” (code for fallen soldiers being sent home – Ed.), right on the runway. Later, those bodies were loaded onto the same plane we had just gotten off. That’s when I realized something was terribly wrong…

How many is “tons”?

I didn’t count, but there were a lot. Zinc coffins, packed in wooden crates.

How did you end up on the front line?

We were taken to a field where local commanders “pick” soldiers.

Like a slave market?

No. They just come and select who they need based on personal traits. The youngest are sent straight into assault squads. Immediately. You can avoid that only if you’re lucky or can pay.

And who offers that kind of deal? Is everyone approached?

It depends on your connections. Who you know in the army. Some made arrangements directly with the commanders.

How much does it cost to get a “paper” that keeps you out of assault duty?

Even if you’re already in an assault unit, you can get out of it. There’s always rear-line work. Usually, it costs two or three drones. You have to buy and hand them over yourself.

Two or three drones, and they leave you alone?

They leave you alone — for now. Until you're urgently needed. They constantly run collections for drones, fuel, food. Money is deducted straight from your salary. On a good month, I had about 50,000 rubles left (around €550 – Ed.) — same as a civilian warehouse worker.

Who “picked” you?

At first, I was sent to the infantry—to the assault unit. I managed to bribe my way out at the training ground and stayed relatively safe for a while. But eventually, I was sent to the front anyway.

How long were you left alone after the bribe?

About a month, maybe a month and a half. I was a “jack of all trades”: do this, bring that, go there. I had to constantly prove I was useful away from the front to avoid questions.

How much did that peace cost you?

I bought a drone. A regular one, with a camera.

You bought it right there? Are there stores at the front?

Yes, I bought it right there. They come from humanitarian aid or the local black market. Then resold. The cheapest drone back then cost 150,000 rubles (about €1,670 – Ed.). Nobody orders directly from China.

You bribed your way out once—why didn’t it work again later?

They needed more people on the front line, right at the contact line. Plus they said: “Everyone else has gone, only you haven’t. You go now—and that’s it.” At that point, no amount of money worked. Commanders were under pressure from above.

Where exactly were you sent for the assault? And how did you survive?

To the Elizavetivka area in Donetsk Oblast. They showed us a “designated point” on the map. Said we had to go there and hold the position. “The enemy’s not there—it’s already cleared. Just go and stay, so no one breaks the line.” We moved in pairs, spaced far apart. By evening, we camped out. The next morning we were ordered to advance again, about an hour apart.

How did you know if the first group made it?

We had radios. I got an “anti-drone weapon.” Later I learned it didn’t work at all, but when they handed it to me, they said I’d be protecting the others from drones. The first pair advanced and were immediately hit by mortar fire. We were spotted from the air. Luckily the shells weren’t big. Then a large drone came and dropped a mine on us. I managed to dodge it.

So you might be in Ukrainian military footage now?

Possibly. But I shot down that drone.

With the weapon that didn’t work?

I used my rifle. The drone descended to treetop level to target us. First, it aimed at me, but I ran. Then it hovered over others. It hesitated, choosing a target. (Laughs.) I finally decided to shoot at it. By then, it had already dropped its “bomb” and killed one man. Then another firefight started. I ran through a wooded area toward a small dugout. I was panicking. I couldn’t think of anything better than to injure myself.

How were you able to run?

I was panicking. I needed to justify why I fled.

Did you shoot yourself in the leg?

No. I unscrewed the fuse from a grenade, placed it under my heel, and pulled the pin.

But that could have cost you your foot.

No. The fuse is needed for detonation. By itself, it's not that powerful—like a very strong firecracker. In the end, it tore a chunk out of my heel. I said I’d been wounded. Then the injured began to move back, and I went with them. That ended my time on the front line.

There are stories of soldiers being executed for self-inflicted wounds.

Yes. I threw away my boot. If they find out someone injured themselves, they’re immediately sent to storm units—or worse. They might throw you into a pit and leave you without food for days. I know of commanders who personally shot those who refused to fight.

How many of those sent to the front with you came back?

Almost all were killed. Maybe one in ten returned…

What was the point of that operation, then?

I don’t know. People are sent out without anyone knowing where or why. They often don’t even make it to their destination—torn apart en route. Maybe it’s to identify enemy positions. To see where their mortars or artillery are. I don’t know…

So people are used as expendable material instead of other reconnaissance methods?

Yes. And they send the youngest, since they can run. But there are also "pensioner" groups—men over 40. They’re forced the same way. I didn’t see any difference in the tasks.

Did you see those who had been sent before you?

A lot, yes. The bodies were unrecognizable. The stench was overwhelming in some areas. It was just disgusting.

Was anyone behind you? There’s a lot of talk about barrier troops.

There were no Chechens in that direction. But barrier troops do exist. They're mostly from the “Storm” units. I was in a regular assault unit. For first-timers, there’s no point putting up a barrier unit behind them, because they're lied to—they're told no one’s ahead. And they believe their commanders.

Incredible. By then the war was already in its third year. Everyone uses the internet. And still they believe obvious lies that cost them their lives?

I’d seen plenty of videos. But I got lured in by the advertisement… Free driver’s license, good pay. When I signed the papers, they reassured me—said we wouldn’t be sent to hell because we weren’t professional soldiers. But once you sign, they can do whatever they want with you. Even deny you medical care.

When you were among the 10% who returned from the front, did you realize it was time to leave?

Yes. I managed to leave thanks to a leave of absence. I had to pay for it.

What did it cost?

For me, it was one drone and one motorcycle. I left with only 30,000 rubles in my pocket (about €330 – Ed.). I got an official paper stating when I had to return. That paper allowed me to cross the Russian border. The checks are incredibly thorough. I’ve never seen such tight border control—checkpoints, databases. If you try to escape illegally, there’s no way. We had a case where a guy ordered a taxi at night and drove toward Russia. The next day we were told he’d been caught, thrown into a storm unit, and killed a week later.

To scare people?

It was true. Later we found out his body had already been packed for shipment home… So in the end, you die either way. Escape or not. But at least he had a chance…

How did you manage to avoid being sent back to the war?

About three days before my leave ended, they started calling me. They needed proof I was actually coming back. I had to send a photo of my return ticket. That’s how the system works. But by that time, I was no longer in my home area. My relatives told me that a few days before my leave ended, two men in civilian clothes came to the house. They rang the doorbell. Asked if a certain person lived there. Then came inside. Searched the apartment. Then left. My leave wasn’t even over yet. But I didn’t send the return ticket. And no one contacted me directly anymore. They started looking for me through my relatives.

When did you contact the human rights group that eventually helped you leave the country?

Before my leave. I was helped by the people from "Idite lesom" (meaning "Head for the forest" in English - a project that helps Russians avoid being sent to war in Ukraine – Ed.).

Why them?

I just knew they helped. They were the most visible. Mediazona had written about them. There were many confirmations that they really helped.

Did you read Mediazona before you were at the front?

No. I only found out about it while I was there.

Popular media in the trenches?

I don’t know. I didn’t talk to anyone about it. It’s risky. If someone wants information, they’ll find it. I wanted to.

How much time passed from when you contacted "Idite lesom" to when you felt safe?

I wrote to them before my leave. They said, “Contact us when you’re on leave.” So I did. I told them my story. They interviewed me. Verified my story. I sent them documents.

What kind of documents?

Leave certificate, passport, military ID. And they helped me.

Was it hard to ‘disappear’?

If you’re on leave and not wanted, there’s nothing difficult about it. No one stops you. The only risk was when they came to my family’s home. If I’d been there, I would’ve been sent back to the war.

Do you feel safe now?

Yes.

Do you regret leaving your homeland?

No. I hope that sooner or later this regime will fall, and there will be a chance to return to a normal country—not the one it is now…

Obviously you now earn less than a contract soldier. How are you getting by?

I’ve made new contacts. People help. I do odd jobs. That’s how it is right now. I have legal status here.

Is it Europe or a former Soviet country?

I’d rather not say, but it’s a normal place. As far as I know, Russia has tried to pressure the local authorities, but it hasn’t worked so far. Technically I could go farther. But that still needs to be arranged…

In Russia, people still keep signing contracts with the military, even though everything should be clear by now. Do you understand why?

First of all, they’ve raised the payments again. Plus, Russian media is pushing the idea that “the war will end soon.” Some people probably believe they’ll get money and avoid the front. They think they’ll win the lottery. Even my parents called me and said, “Trump said the war will end soon. We’ll see you soon.” They didn’t want to hear it when I asked how Trump, being the president of another country, could know that.

Did you vote for Putin?

I’ve only voted once in my life. Realized it’s pointless. It’s always “Putin, Putin, Putin.” Everything is rigged, everything’s bought.

Any professional soldiers in your family?

No. I did my conscription, but I never imagined it would come to this. And I repeat: their recruitment ads were very well made. They work on people who need money. Before, you could actually gain skills during service. People got licenses. I had no idea they would deceive people like this…

What do you think about this war overall?

It’s an utterly senseless war. I never saw any “Banderites” there. (Smiles.) This war serves one man with massive ambitions. A man who wanted something to do in his old age. And thousands die every day for it. It’s madness. But that very madness is what keeps him in power. He rewrote all the laws. Now soldiers serve indefinitely. Sure, the contract says one year—but in reality, you can’t leave alive, at least not legally.

We spoke with an Estonian citizen whose name ended up in a recruitment database in Moscow. He claims he was only accompanying a friend and never signed any contract with the Russian armed forces. Is that possible?

An Estonian guy?! How did he get in there?!

He says he was just accompanying a friend.

A person can walk in and out of a draft office, sure—especially if he’s Estonian. Nothing will happen to him.

So you didn’t encounter any foreigners at the front?

No.

Recruiters in Moscow told us they’ll take anyone. They don’t even care about passports.

I’ve heard that. But then how did that person end up in the database? If he just walked in and walked out, he wouldn’t be in any system. Sounds suspicious.

Do you have a message for people in Estonia who don’t understand what Russia’s war in Ukraine is?

To those who want to “help Russia”—or however they see it—the best help they can offer is to simply stay home. That will end the war faster. Even if they still believe in Putin. This whole thing is built on lies. They’re just being deceived.

Did you personally have a choice—whether to shoot the enemy or not?

I went to the front once, where supposedly no enemy was present. I miraculously survived. That was it. I wanted to run the moment we got off the plane and saw the stacks of coffins.

What would you say today to Ukrainians?

(Long pause) I’d say this is a meaningless war started by a meaningless man. I hope it all ends one day.

Do you think Ukrainians will be able to interact with Russians normally in the future?

Definitely not in the near future.

Did you meet any soldiers who thought Putin must go?

No one said that out loud. Even if they think it, they wouldn’t dare say it. Everyone just wants to survive.

Do you feel guilty?

(Pause) For signing the contract?

For ending up in another country with a weapon. Yes, you didn’t kill anyone—but what would you have done if you had reached Ukrainian trenches?

I didn’t want to kill anyone. That’s why I injured myself. I was ready to go to prison if that had been possible. I even found a Ukrainian project that helps soldiers surrender. But I couldn’t think of a better option than blowing myself up. I wasn’t sure they’d take me alive, or that I wouldn’t be shot while surrendering.

Plus, I’d seen drone videos where Russian troops sent kamikaze drones after their own men who tried to surrender.

Did you see anyone who had surrendered and later returned?

Yes. But not from my unit. The ones I served with who surrendered probably haven’t been exchanged yet. And those stories that you get a “vacation” after being a POW—that’s false too.

What do you think should be done with Putin for what he’s done to Ukraine—and to Russia?

Ideally, he should be put on trial. But more likely, someone will shoot him first.

Who?

I think someone from his inner circle. But it would be better if he made it to court and had to face the people who’ve lost loved ones. There’s so much pain. So much…